it's · man · devouring · man, · my · dear

Alright so.
At the mall I live near, they have this little Chinese/Japanese/Azn store, where you can buy a bunch of cute stuff. Death Note, Kingdom Hearts, Hello Kitty, etc., you get the idea.
So today, I bought a Death Note jewelry set that was half off and OHMYGOD.
LOOK:

See the ring?
Okayokayokay.
You can't see it, I know, but:

SEE THAT RING?
The ring I got looks almost EXACTLY like it.
sfoksfoaldkaiofsmkfjksdsdlkasaps;adsfkl;e!
Yep, I'm officially cool.
They had a few sets, but the one I got was the best. It came in this cute little box with Light and Ryuk on the front. The necklace is the Kira symbol that a lot of websites use, which is fitting because I'm all for what Light did.
Anyway, I just had like.
ANNOUNCE THAT.
-dies of happy-

Ohhhhhhh my god~
Junjou Romantica is the best thing ever.
*w*
WARNING: GAY THINGS AND PEDOPHILIA AHEAD! 8DDD

rofl, so okay.
At first it was kind of like, super typical yaoi bullshit.
Because the one guy is stereotypically seme and the other is stereotypically uke.
Usagi-san and Misaki, basically, who are the main couple.

(Usagi-san is the one who's like 'MMM LOOK AT UR FAICE!' and Misaki is the one who's like 'THAT'S MY FAICE, JERK!')
The three pairings all have their own nicknames, this one is the main one, so naturally it's:
JUNJOU ROMANTICA.
They're cute because uh, Misaki is like 'WTF NO GAYNESS PLZ' and Usagi-san is like 'O LOL TOO BAD I LOVE YOU' and whatnot.
Not to mention that like, EVERY GUY WHO MEETS MISAKI FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM.
-______-;;
But it's still cute, really.
And, like, sex.
A lot of it.
AND USAGI-SAN is a novelist, who writes these award-winning books, and then uses Misaki and Misaki's older brother (who he was initially in love with) in his homo-erotic boy love novels.
Usagi-san is also eccentric and has teddy bears and toy trains and rubber duckies everywhere because he feels he never got a normal childhood. Which he didn't, there's a whole episode that shows that, he's friends with Hiro-san (a character in the next pairing) and it's all quite sad. D:
So, yeah.
Misaki is 10 years younger than Usagi-san too.
IT'S STILL CUTE! D<

AND THEN.

There's Hiro-san and Nowaki.
JUNJOU EGOIST.
(Hiro-san is the one you THINK is the uke because Nowaki is the one holding him, but you're WRONG! D<)
Which is awesome because Nowaki is like, SO tall, but Hiro-san is such a bitch to him.
And it's just like, a rofl'ing good time for all.
Not to mention Nowaki is like 'LOL I WISH HIRO-SAN WOULD WEAR A DRESS.'
Which is just plain amusing.
Plus Hiro-san is in love Usagi-san, or is at first at least, and it's saaaaaad. D:
But it's so cute. D<
And Nowaki is 4 years younger than Hiro-san, but he's got to be a foot taller, it's so great. Oh and the first time they have sex is the best sex scene in the series so far. Except maybe when Misaki and Usagi-san do it in the train...IMEANWHUT?
They fight, like, all the time. And have library sex. Not that the others don't fight, but it seems like Hiro-san and Nowaki have the most serious fights. And Hiro-san is so cute because he acts all like 'TOUGH |:<' but really he'll just be like ;______________; half the time. xDD

Then, there's the best...

(Shi is the one pulling Miyagi's tie offfff~ 8D)
JUNJOU TERRORIST.
Oh my effing god.
So basically, Shinobu (I just call him Shi though) met this guy, Miyagi (who also happens to be the professor that Hiro-san from the above couple is assisting) a few years ago. Miyagi saves Shi from these guys who are about to beat him up. Shi instantly is attracted to him. But it turns out Miyagi is getting married to his older sister! DDDD: POORBABYAMIRITE? So now it's a few years later, 3 I think, and Miyagi and his wife are divorced and Shi comes all the way back from studying abroad in AUSTRALIA to confess to Miyagi. OH DID I MENTION SHI IS 17 AND MIYAGI IS 34? That's why I love it so much, rofl, it's fucking pedo material, so hawt. ;D
It's just great because Shi is all like 'OH YEAH, I'VE HAD SEX' and Miyagi's like 'K SEX ME THEN LOL' and Shi is like 'OHMYGODNUUUUUUU' and Shi cries all like gross and it's hilarious. xD
Oh and Miyagi has a really sad side story that makes me cry.

BUT ANYWAY YEAH.
Junjou Romantica, so amazingggggggg.
Everyone ever should watch it.
Or else I'll kill you.
And you'll be dead.
FOREVER.
o_______________________________o

A Woodland Critter Christmas of course!
I opened most of my presents up tonight, on Christmas Eve, and I helped to pick out the ones that 'Santa' is delivering. I have a 7 year old sister, so, you know, just keeping up the facade over here, don't hate.
Anyway, I'm bored, so I feel like talking about what I got.
The new Britney Spears CD! It's amazing, I highly recommend My Baby, Shattered Glass and Unusual You.
Death Note 2008 calendar, I haven't seen it anywhere besides FYE, not even online, so I'm slightly scared it's somehow bootleg merch, but what the hell do I care, it's got some goddamn good Raito and Mello art, but naturally is lacking in the Matt department. |:
Harley Quinn shirt! Second only to Scarecrow in terms of Batman characters.<33
Resident Evil: Outbreak and Resident Evil 4, it was the only way my mom could buy me Outbreak again, it came in a two pack, I hope 4 isn't as lame as I've heard. Dx
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. Certain to be an amazing book, I've yet to be disappointed by anything Chuck has written except for Fight Club. (Seriously, Fight Club isn't that great.) And I think my Nana is getting me Lullaby or Survivor, so mmm, Chuck!
Clothes from Forever 21, etc., etc., it's all good.
Axel plushie, the character from Kingdom Hearts. I found this Chinese/Japanese shop in the mall, they have all this cute merch, so I'm going to spend so much money on stuff there. They had a Raito Yagami plushie too s0sdf9iosfsf. ; o; So naturally I need that and probably some jewelry.
A Death Note poster and a Kingdom Hearts poster.
YES I AM A GIANT NERD.
I'll probably buy some South Park merch as well.
And my friend is probably getting me Cannibal! the Musical 13th Anniversary DVD complete with drunken commentary from Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
So...yeah.
Good stuff.
Hope everyone has a good Christmas/New Years/etc.
:D

This is mostly just for myself, but I cba to make it private.
As you can tell from the title (I'd hope) it's the tattoos I plan on getting eventually.
I've wanted all of them for at least a few months now, some of them I've wanted for a few years, so I hardly think I'm going to change my mind about them.
And I have a high pain tolerance, so, heh.
;D

( well, here goes nothing... )

Ah, so.
I figured something out. Life is not like a roller coaster. It's like a...like a thing that goes up and down but it can be doing both at the same time. They haven't invented...whatever that is yet, but that's what life is like, you know? I have a weak immune system, so I'm generally sick all the time at some level. For the past few months I hadn't been sick at all, and then BAM! Right before my birthday I got epicly sick. This happens every year (the getting sick right before my birthday part, not just my birthday...well that does too, but, YEAH) so I wasn't entirely caught off guard. But the thing is, although I got super sick, my life kinda got better. See, I started doing this new-fangled talking to people thing and it's working out. So I have some friends at school, which is nice. I kinda found my niche, which is complete and utterly nothingness. Seriously, several time people have remarked about how it's virtually impossible to stereotype me.
ANYWAY, as exciting as that is.
So which is the more exciting news?
A) I am 16, like, finally, it makes me feel older, well because I am, but yeah.
B) Sweeney Todd on DVD for me, which yes, I hated the movie the first time I saw it, but something about it is a lot better when I'm drinking Capri Sun and watching it on my PS2.
C) My little sister wants to marry Kenny McCormick forever, because he's just so cute, hence I have the coolest 6 year old sister in the history of mandkind.
D) Neil Gaiman's American Gods is the best book in the world and I finally was able to get it out from the library.
E) All of the above.
Well, naturally, it's E.
So things are good, you know, thus far, here's to hoping it stays that way?
Oh and for Christmas I was the 13th Anniversary Edition DVD of Cannibal! The Musical and Britney Spears's new CD. No questions asked.
:3

I've been so busy lately with doing nothing.
:/
So I wrote this thing for no purpose other than to be slightly emotastic. And it ended up in my Kenny/Butters story on FFnet. I don't know why. I like it better like this. My friend Gina says it's really good, I don't know that it is, but I like it.

--

I think there’s a point in everyone’s life where your heart actually breaks. I don’t think it can happen more than a few times and I don’t think it can ever hurt as much as that first time. Because the first time your heart breaks is the first time it’s ever felt real pain. Not tangible pain, you aren’t going to feel it. You aren’t going to be able to tell the doctor where it hurts exactly and he won’t have any pills to solve your problem this time. You might not even realize that your heart is broken until a week, month or even years later.

When you do realize it though, it’s a shock to the system. You retreat into this shell, unique to every person who has ever lived; no one does it quite the same. I did it without many people noticing it. I did it slowly and internally until I finally confronted the very person who broke my heart. That’s another thing about your heart breaking. In my experience there are only ever going to be a few select people with that power over you and you have to give them that power.

There’s no exchange, you don’t say, alright, here’s my heart, take good care of it. You do in a sense, but you can never really trust that they’ve gotten the message and that’s how they get the power. Once you surrender your heart to them and try to let them know that – it’s all a matter of if they understand that. If they know they have that power and if they’re good person, they’ll take care of things to make sure your heart doesn’t break.

But sometimes it doesn’t matter if they’re a good person, because somewhere the lines got crossed. They didn’t understand what they heard, they didn’t understand what it meant to you, it didn’t mean the same thing to them – something. And even though they mean well, they dropped it. They weren’t careful because they just didn’t know, and suddenly it’s a slow motion moment, you look back and see the events that all led up to this point, until you see your heart. It’s not made of glass or crystal, you can’t see through it, but there it is, falling, and you’re helpless to stop it. So what do you do?

You close your eyes and you think and you remember – as you hear it, the sound of your heart breaking. Do you know what it sounds like?

I do.

--

I don't speak from experience, I've never given anyone my heart.
In other news:
Boys at my new school think it's 'really omg kewl' that I like South Park.
I think they're all really lame and immature.
:s
I've been really sick for a few days now.
And I hate it when random people run into me in the hallways.
Ew @ people touching me.
God I love Coke Zero.
Au revoir.

I hate people who confuse Pro-Choice with Pro-Abortion.
--
I started at my new high school today. And it's funny, because all my friends (lol two people) were like 'Oh everyone will like you!' Well, maybe they would. No one talked to me. I mean, literally, no one bothered to acknowledge my existance. I'm either dead and I don't know it yet or I'm extremely ugly. I'm betting on the latter and hoping for the former, hahaha. I need to talk to a therapist, seriously. Ugh, life in general is just...I don't know. It just feels really wrong. Like 'why the fuck am I here, I'm supposed to be there.' If I could I would drop out, I don't even care, I'm not learning anything important anyway. And that sounds so childish, I know, but honestly, it's doing more hurt than harm to be in this environment right now. Aha, I need to grow up and deal with this. :/
--
My writing relflects my mood after all.

Well.
My internet.
Yeah.
It's a snail that overdosed on heroin. I simply can't get online. Well, I can. But. It doesn't count. I'm on my mom's fiance's computer and it's failure on a stick. Besides that, all my files are on my laptop, which currently has no internet. I mean, call me impatient, but I think three weeks was enough time to get this shit set up.
Since I've been in a place where no one knows me or cares to know me for all this time I've been doing three things.
1. Writing. I finished Addict. It might end up having a sequel. Mainly because...I planned on having way more story than Craig can tell. It's just not his story any more. He was my muse and now it's a boy in an orange parka. I mean, tits. Just, tits. I've always said I would never do a sequel, because they seem so...geh, to me. But idno, there's more to the story it's just. Tits.
And besides Addict, I have this like, EPIC what-if Stan and Kyle hadn't met thing. It's almost 15000 words and I'm not done with it. It's a oneshot. And so 15000 words for a oneshot...that's epic imo. And then I have about 2 or 3 oneshots that are finished and shorter and whatnot. Idno. I have too much time to write.
2. Going on the boat. Since I live on a lake now (live on lake = lake is backyard) I go out on the boat a lot. It's gay. Gayer than Neil Patrick Harris. Gayer than all the hype around Heath Ledger. Maybe even gayer than Miley Cyrus.
3. Watching Law and Order: SVU. I used to never see repeats, now I see the same episodes all the time. Christopher Meloni is a sex god. Thank you sex gods for granting him to us. Thank you oh. Oh so very much.
4. Sleeping. A lot.
Well, that was a good bitching. I think I'll go do number 4 now.

This is basically pointless venting. Pointless to anyone besides me right now. .___. So I've been doing nothing for the past few days. I was writing and then I forgot to save and my laptop died and my temper was like 'DON'T WRITE D<' so I didn't. My temper controls me. So I just sit around and do nothing except being pissed off and drink coffee and ignore everyone and be ignored by everyone else. And then today, all of a sudden, I go to see the house I’m moving too. It’s really nice, right by the lake, I mean, our backyard pretty much is the lake, lulz. But the town is…well see, right now I live in a really urban town. I can’t walk down a street here without seeing a Wal-Mart, a Starbucks and some fast food place. There are stores everywhere. But where I’m moving…not so much. And, to say the least, I’m not thrilled about it. It’s just stressing me out so much. Then moving, I’m switching schools and oh, isn’t that just going to be great. I’m really not very social, unless I know you pretty well.
Fucking just…fucking fucking fuck. I’m going to watch South Park.
|:
edit: lo fucking l, I love this episode, when they play baseball and Craig's hair is accidentally brown instead of black and you see Kenny with his hood off.
Goddammit, I know too much about this show.
--
Since I'm so dead, by the way, my writing is completely reflecting that. Oh, no, I can write trust me, just all my characters are -dead- just like me.
Fuck me and how all my characters always end up reflecting myself.
Dx

Four days. Well, okay, not exactly four days. I've had sporadic sleeping, like, 10 minutes here, 25 minutes there. But essentially 4 days of being wide awake. You have no idea how much time 24 hours is until you stay up for 4 sets of that amount of time. It goes on forfuckingever, I swear. I hate having insomnia.
Good news though, SP Imaginationland is on tonight. That's exciting for me, considering it's the Extended Cut. Which I wanted to buy, but I forgot, my mom has no idea I even watch South Park or even remotely like it. She'd kill me if she knew how obsessed I was... xD
--
Plus. I just found out I'm moving. Not too far away, but I'm switching schools and stuff. My mom's getting remarried and all that shit no one cares about. It was kind of sudden though, I barely even know her fiance, who, I guess, is my soon-to-be step-dad. Fucking weird.
But oh well.
Life gives what life gives.
Gotta deal with it as it comes,
8D~

So.
I've been trying to change my mood theme for about 2 weeks now.
And by 'trying' I mean, I keep forgetting to and the 2 times I've tried to it's like 'failure.'
And it's this really great Batman Begins/The Dark Knight thing that makes me all 'omgyes!' happy.
But no.
No, LJ has to be all complicated and confuse me. And I mean really confuse me. Like, I'm terribly LJ stupid. I can do html and CSS and all that good shit on every other site. But when it comes to LJ? I just fail at life.
--
I didn't sleep for a whole day and then I slept for 18 hours. I kept waking up and then just going right back to sleep. Best sleep of my life.
:D
I really need to write though, I'm slacking off like crazy.
au revoir.

I had to answer this, just because, Pluto's always been my favorite planet. And, uh, fuck you whoever demoted it, I still consider it a planet. Always will. Mickey Mouse named his dog after it. Or maybe I have that backwards, since Pluto was one of the gods and all... Regardless, Pluto will always be a planet to me.
Just because.
I grew up knowing it as a planet.
And I watched a Magic School Bus episode where they went to the PLANET Pluto.
So.
Yeah.
|:

I'm loving this weird French music.
c:

--

Let's talk Twilight.
As in, why I have extreme dislike for the series.
My mom bought me the first book, so I figured I might as well read it, right? At first I kind of liked it. I didn’t love it, but I thought it was kind of interesting. Bella bothered me right off the bat. Because, literally the entire first book she’s like: ‘I’m so normal, I’m so average, I’m so unattractive.’ And then, like, three guys fall in love with her, she makes two best friends right off of the bat. But, still, she’s so wangstily average. I read New Moon and then Eclipse. After I finished Eclipse, I set down the book, went upstairs and told my mom: ‘Please, whatever you do, do not buy me the next Twilight book. Please.’

Honestly, the storyline has this small amount of promise. A good writer could have made that storyline good, a great writer could have made it great. Stephenie Meyer is a shit writer, and she turned the plot into such. I swear to God, Bella is self-insertion on her part. It just shows that you can get anything published these days with little to no talent, as long as the plot ‘OMG VAMPIRE HOTTIES WHO WANT TO DATE ME LOL’ appeals to the masses.

Bella is blatantly a Mary Sue. I don’t care what anyone says, original characters CAN be Mary Sues. Edward is one, the entire family of vampires are Mary Sues. They have conflict sure, but in the end ‘THE VAMPIRE SAVED ME LOL’ is the outcome. The characters are bland, the plotline is bland, the books leave me with no taste in my mouth, and I forget half of what happened because none of it really struck me emotionally.

And I say this as a modest, mediocre writer: If Stephenie Meyer can get published, so can I.
-JAZZHANDS-
So if anyone asks me why I don't like Twilight, they can read that and kiss my ass.

--

On a creepy note.
I'm getting into Pokemon again.
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig time.
Palletshipping and Contestshipping ftw.
So cute. *u*
Well, enough being creepy.
I'm out.
8D

Right so.
It's 9 am and I have to sleep.
But I just figured I'd update this with a bit of a rant.
No one's going to know what I'm talking about really, so it's not very important.
My tummy really hurts.
My location from now until I beat KH2 will be where i am in the game.
xD
--
beginrant
Alright, so, I can see the merit in her story. Well, three of her stories. I've read two of them and the one she's currently working on I am reading, just finished the sixteenth and newest chapter a lot while ago as a matter of fact. She's a good writer. But just. Ugh. I know it sounds so...jealous. Like I'm envious (bah that's ironic) of her writing. But I really don't find her to be that good of a writer. She's like the J. K. Rowling of fan-fiction, great, promising plots and characters...but only mediocre skill. And yet these people practically worship her, she gets hundreds of reviews like THAT and no one bothers to think twice about it. She's not that good so why do people act like she's the be-all-end-all in writing? It makes no sense.
endrant
--
Oh a lighter note.
JON AND STEPHEN ARE BACK ON MONDAY EEEE
I think.
I'm so bad with their schedules, I almost cried when I realized they were gone for YET ANOTHER week this past...week.
Dx

Finally updated my profile page and it looks mighty spiffy if I do say so myself. Which I don't because I just said spiffy out loud and realized how terribly campy it sounds. Does anyone even use that word anymore?

Doubtful.

So I was musing to myself and I came up with a rather odd thought. I had a slight...fight, for lack of a better word with this girl about Hitler. I simply told her I respected the man and she bitched me out. Fact being, I didn't get to explain myself. I don't respect Hitler because he killed Jews, that would be rather insane, or at least morbid, sadistic, masochistic, racist? Something like that. Anyway, I respect him because he was smart. And people need to get THIS through their head:

Just because someone is 'evil' doesn't mean they are stupid and just because someone is 'good' doesn't mean they are smart.

That's just not the way it works, much as we want it to work that way. Honestly, 'evil' people would be ten times easier to hate if they were stupid. But I have respect for people like Hitler or Charles Manson, say. Sure, they did terrible things, but does that change their intelligence level? Not one bit. Respect is different from admiration, is it not?

--

On a completely different note, I watched the Royal Tenenbaums again today. Black Comedy is just made of win. I could drown in it. It's so real and so not slapstick that I have to pinch myself to realize I'm not watching a family go through all of this. Quite possibly one of THE best movies of all time. But never comparing to Batman Begins in my book, of course.

Also, Mozart and Beethoven have been on repeat for days now. I'm just waiting for Ludwig's reincarnation to come and sweet me off my feet. Mood poisoning from music's most genius man, please.

Aha, speak of moods, I need a new mood set. :|

I was thinking about it.
And I get a LOT of reviews for So Much For Love.
Like more than I was thinking I did.
Fuck me for over-analyzing.

Anywho.
I need someone who's a fan of Kingdom Hearts to read this prologue.
Dx

Burning Desire
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: Axel/Roxas, and for right now that's all.
Word count: 4460
Summary: Axel, a pyromaniac without a cause becomes Roxas' proverbial white rabbit, dragging him into a world he's never experienced.
Rating: pg-13 I suppose
Warnings: slash.
( in all truth, i'm nobody in this world )